Scuba Diving Adventures near Brisbane!

An Amusing Dive Story

First, here is our top notch dive boat...




I found out that I needed an Advanced Scuba certificate to do any worthwhile dives (like dives over 60' and night dives), so, I have to hurry up and get the certificate before I go to Caines over Easter (we have a 4 day holiday, so, off I go). So, I signed up for an advanced class, the first part of which was doing 3 dives last Saturday. The boat was very nice, and it was a beautiful day, albeit very windy. As we headed off toward Moreton island, it was just beautiful and serene. And then we got out of the channel. And the water was rough. VERY rough. and we had to sit in the cabin to go over what we needed to know to pass the class. the first thing was learning how to tie knots. under water. Say what??? yes, in case you want to go in a wreck and it is so dark that you might lose your way, you better bring some string and tie it off somewhere and take it with you. Yes, that is always part of my diving agenda, isn't always part of yours? so, I was glad to be learning this skill. NOT. First of all, I am not going to go diving anywhere where I need a piece of string to take with me to find my way out! So, the guy is going on and on about tie this loop around his finger and the hold the string out and the rabbit goes through the hole and up the tree or something like that, and in the meantime, it is getting rougher and rougher and all my concentration is focused on not hurling on the guy, let alone pretending that the string is some sort of rabbit who jumps out a hole and then has to climb a tree or something. I never could learn that knot in my sailing class either. oh yeah, and we had to do this with scuba gloves on.




Anyway, even the instructor was getting ready to hurl so, we bagged the rest of the class and went above board. it just continued to go down hill from there. The visibility was horrible. Especially since I couldn't see out of my mask. You gotta hate it when that happens. it was too dirty and even spit couldn't' take care of it! after being slammed into the boat trying to take the tow line to the anchor line, and getting more and more sea sick, we finally started to descend into the murky depths. and I couldn't see anything. and I haven't scuba diving in the last few years, other then our Island trip, so, I started having a panic attack. My heart was pounding. I am freaking out. I want to hurl in my mask. Oh my gosh, it was all I could do not to just shoot up to the surface (that happened later), and start hurling. So, then we make our way down to the bottom. and the scuba diver gives a hand signal that he would be back in 5 minutes. say what? where is he going? out for a cigarette break? a hurl break? what? so, we just sit there in the bottom of the ocean wondering where the dive master went to. maybe he knows of an underwater bar or something. as it turns out, one of the people in the class never got in the water because they were too busy spewing. well, that was about the end of that dive!




So, my dive buddy (some guy I don't know) had told me that he sucks a lot of air. well, during this first dive, I was running low on air, and I don't typically suck a lot air, unless I am having a full blown panic attack, but, even so, I thought, you know, I better check this guys gauge, since I am running low on air, he must be too, and I haven't seen him check it once through the entire dive. Sure enough he was almost OUT of air. I mean, the gauge turns red on 50 (whatever measurement that they use), and his was on 20!!! so, I am pointing at it and pointing up! holy smokes! So, up to the top we went? Safety stops? who needs 'em!!! turns out his BC leaked. and the dive instructor cussed me out for not checking it better!




So back up we went. then, the line back to the boat got went UNDER the boat and, between the catamaran platoons when I was trying to make my way back, so, then I had to fight the current to get back to the boat.


Then, back on the boat, upstairs to lie down on the ground to be very still to keep the hurling at bay.



The next dive was a bit better at the start. I could see for starters, which is always helpful when diving. Then, I had to take the ball of string down to the wreck and tie it off somewhere. But, I couldn't get the rabbit to come out of the hole and go around the tree, so, I flunked that part. then, I got the line all tangled up as I made my way across the wreck, and it just went down hill from there. I had a different style tank on this time (and a 5 MIL wetsuit), and as we are heading back to the boat, all of a sudden I just shoot up to the top! just like a rocket! I tried to fight it, really I did! but, it was hopeless! up to the top like a cork! I don't think I have done that since my very first dive excursion! so, then I went back down, and there was no one to be found. of course, when you have visibility of 5', that doesn't help matter. so, I waited around for a few minutes, then back up to the top, and back over the boat, where I found them doing the safety stop (which we didn't do on the first dive by the way!!!) but, by this time, the instructor was out in the ocean looking for me. but, he came back and we all got back on the boat, for another hour of laying up on the top deck with my hoodie over my face, laying as still as possible, trying not to hurl.






On to the night dive! Where my dive partner, forgets his dive light! so, during the entire night dive, I have to watch him to make sure he doesn't get lost! man, Then, back on the boat for an hour long boat ride back to shore! Another hour of lying there as still as possible with the hoodie pulled over my face. The staff would come up there, "do you want some fruit?" " do you want some water?" Do I look like I want to eat!??


No! I look like I want to hurl, now leave me the heck alone! Actually, the water had calmed down by then, and it was a beautiful night, so, after awhile, I was able to get up and look at the stars and stuff. Still, I was never so glad to get off of a boat! Yeepii!! I can't wait until the next class!! which is tomorrow! wish me luck!