A fine cuisine chef makes her debut!

Ah yes, I decided that I wanted to start cooking! So, I am cooking a roast tonight! Ok, never mind that it is a “prepackaged, marinated, all you have to do is put it in the oven”, roast, but, this is still one BIG step above opening a can, pouring the contents into a microwave and pressing the number 2! Not only that, but, I actually figured out how to turn ON the oven! Ah, you scoff at me! But, this is no ordinary oven.....no! This is some ancient artifact from the 1800 where they did not have electricity! No! It requires rubbing 2 sticks together, chanting a sequence of spells, pressing and holding a knob in just the right spot, and lighting a fire at the very back of the oven at just the right spot, at just the right moment! And tonight, the oven gods were in harmony, and I actually got it to light - after 6 months of trying! Ok, so, I only tried a few times, since canned food only requires a microwave, but, it has been 6 months!! So, I am now cooking a roast!! It really is too bad that I accidentally left the roast sitting out on the counter all day after I brought it home from the grocery store while I was at work. No, I decided, we can’t let a little thing like letting uncooked meat sit out on a counter for 10 hours, deter us from our new cooking ways.

Ever the safety cautious person that I am, I realized that it was of the utmost importance for maintaining good health, to cook the meal thoroughly, especially since it had been left out on the countertop for 10 hours.

So, I waited patiently for the indicator to go off. At long last, smoke billowed out of the oven and the smoke detector went off, indicating that the meat has been thoroughly cooked! Ever cautious, I double checked by pounding the meat on the counter to ensure that it has the consistence of a rock. And it did! Mission accomplished, and dinner is ready! After making a trip to the storage unit for a small hand saw required to cut the meat, and after much anticipation, I partake in my first roast! I think I may have chipped a tooth in the process, but that is the price you have to pay from time to time, when you have such a refined and distinguished palette as mine.

As I bounced out of bed the next morning, I realized that I wasn’t quite feeling like my usual chirpy and enthusiastic self! Instead I was experiencing stomach cramps, weakness and an overall feeling of fatigue. Ah, but, of course, I am on my monthly cycle! So, not to worry! Ibuprofen to the rescue! I take the prescribed dosage. But, still, the cramps and sickness do not pass. Then, I remember my motto! “If one is good, then two is better”! So, I take another dosage and stagger off to work.

I have moved from the “Indian Curry bowl” fish bowl room to the “We are the world” fish bowl room. We are all crammed in their like sardines. And as usually, the temperature has risen to at least 100. As I sit in my seat, the room starts to spin, and sweat is raining off my face. The Indonesian guy is yammering away the other Indonesian guy, in only a language they understand. The aussie guy is yammering to anyone who will listen, which is usually just me, and the Chinese guy is singing Chinese pop songs in Chinese, and occasionally, when he is feeling inspired, he breaks out into a course of whistling! Meanwhile, I am feeling quite nauseous, and trying not to hurl on my keyboard. Chalking it up to too many meds, I decide that maybe I need to rethink this “if one is good, then two is better” motto. And I reflect that I have never had such a miserable period. Never does the thought cross my mind that it could be from ANYTHING else, I mean, surely not from my cooking techniques, as now I am an experienced chef after successfully cooking my first roast!

Somehow I make it through the day, and then I stagger off to Photography class, homework hastily done, moments before, and thoroughly unprepared, as usual. I attempt to hide in the corner as he is reviewing what we learned in class the week before. I begin mumbling a prayer and hope that the “I am not prepared, but, at least I am here” gods are with me. But, alas, they were off helping some other ill prepared soul. I found a spot on the wall, and focused on it, like it was the horizon off in the distance. Just like a seasick sailor, I stare at that spot and murmur to myself, “I will not hurl”, “ I will not hurl”, “no, the room is not spinning”. “Renee, can you tell us what SLR is?” MS PALMER CAN YOU TELL US WHAT SLR IS?” I was brought out of my dizzy trance, and I meekly replied “no”, and then he asked some other sort of mumbo jumbo and I again, I had to meekly reply “no”. I lowered my head in shame, and thought of the disgrace that I had brought to my fellow Americans. No wonder we are known as the stupid Americans. But, wait! Doesn’t he understand the dedication it took to drag myself into the class? And the willpower it took not to hurl???

Somehow I made it through the 2 hours and it was time to stagger home. For once I was grateful to have to make my way through the dodgy part of Brisbane. As I weaved and staggered like a drunkard past the strip clubs and the bars, and the drunk aborigines in the door stoops, I fit right in with the winos and am given no notice.

Ah, at long last, I made it home and crawled into bed and slept like I was in a coma.

Ah, I can’t wait to try cooking my next feast!

Sky Diving over Byron Bay!

Skydiving!

My mates and I went to Byron Bay for some skydiving! I have been waiting for 43 years for the opportunity to go! Now I have the money...wait, I don't have ACTUALLY have the money, but, I no longer care about my finances, so off we go!!

We decided to for the ultimate thrill - 14,000'!

Here are some pictures of skydivers that we saw while we were anxiously awaiting our turn. Oh my gosh, They are just specks in the sky.




Just another spec in the sky...




Coming in for a landing!







The prep room




Now it is our turn....Say Good bye!



Lili and Diego's triumpment return!



Renee's triumpent return - picture taken courtesty of my mother who does not know how to use a camera




Renee And Lili - All smiles!!!


Renee And Joal - All Smiles!!



The gang!

Scuba Diving Adventures near Brisbane!

An Amusing Dive Story

First, here is our top notch dive boat...




I found out that I needed an Advanced Scuba certificate to do any worthwhile dives (like dives over 60' and night dives), so, I have to hurry up and get the certificate before I go to Caines over Easter (we have a 4 day holiday, so, off I go). So, I signed up for an advanced class, the first part of which was doing 3 dives last Saturday. The boat was very nice, and it was a beautiful day, albeit very windy. As we headed off toward Moreton island, it was just beautiful and serene. And then we got out of the channel. And the water was rough. VERY rough. and we had to sit in the cabin to go over what we needed to know to pass the class. the first thing was learning how to tie knots. under water. Say what??? yes, in case you want to go in a wreck and it is so dark that you might lose your way, you better bring some string and tie it off somewhere and take it with you. Yes, that is always part of my diving agenda, isn't always part of yours? so, I was glad to be learning this skill. NOT. First of all, I am not going to go diving anywhere where I need a piece of string to take with me to find my way out! So, the guy is going on and on about tie this loop around his finger and the hold the string out and the rabbit goes through the hole and up the tree or something like that, and in the meantime, it is getting rougher and rougher and all my concentration is focused on not hurling on the guy, let alone pretending that the string is some sort of rabbit who jumps out a hole and then has to climb a tree or something. I never could learn that knot in my sailing class either. oh yeah, and we had to do this with scuba gloves on.




Anyway, even the instructor was getting ready to hurl so, we bagged the rest of the class and went above board. it just continued to go down hill from there. The visibility was horrible. Especially since I couldn't see out of my mask. You gotta hate it when that happens. it was too dirty and even spit couldn't' take care of it! after being slammed into the boat trying to take the tow line to the anchor line, and getting more and more sea sick, we finally started to descend into the murky depths. and I couldn't see anything. and I haven't scuba diving in the last few years, other then our Island trip, so, I started having a panic attack. My heart was pounding. I am freaking out. I want to hurl in my mask. Oh my gosh, it was all I could do not to just shoot up to the surface (that happened later), and start hurling. So, then we make our way down to the bottom. and the scuba diver gives a hand signal that he would be back in 5 minutes. say what? where is he going? out for a cigarette break? a hurl break? what? so, we just sit there in the bottom of the ocean wondering where the dive master went to. maybe he knows of an underwater bar or something. as it turns out, one of the people in the class never got in the water because they were too busy spewing. well, that was about the end of that dive!




So, my dive buddy (some guy I don't know) had told me that he sucks a lot of air. well, during this first dive, I was running low on air, and I don't typically suck a lot air, unless I am having a full blown panic attack, but, even so, I thought, you know, I better check this guys gauge, since I am running low on air, he must be too, and I haven't seen him check it once through the entire dive. Sure enough he was almost OUT of air. I mean, the gauge turns red on 50 (whatever measurement that they use), and his was on 20!!! so, I am pointing at it and pointing up! holy smokes! So, up to the top we went? Safety stops? who needs 'em!!! turns out his BC leaked. and the dive instructor cussed me out for not checking it better!




So back up we went. then, the line back to the boat got went UNDER the boat and, between the catamaran platoons when I was trying to make my way back, so, then I had to fight the current to get back to the boat.


Then, back on the boat, upstairs to lie down on the ground to be very still to keep the hurling at bay.



The next dive was a bit better at the start. I could see for starters, which is always helpful when diving. Then, I had to take the ball of string down to the wreck and tie it off somewhere. But, I couldn't get the rabbit to come out of the hole and go around the tree, so, I flunked that part. then, I got the line all tangled up as I made my way across the wreck, and it just went down hill from there. I had a different style tank on this time (and a 5 MIL wetsuit), and as we are heading back to the boat, all of a sudden I just shoot up to the top! just like a rocket! I tried to fight it, really I did! but, it was hopeless! up to the top like a cork! I don't think I have done that since my very first dive excursion! so, then I went back down, and there was no one to be found. of course, when you have visibility of 5', that doesn't help matter. so, I waited around for a few minutes, then back up to the top, and back over the boat, where I found them doing the safety stop (which we didn't do on the first dive by the way!!!) but, by this time, the instructor was out in the ocean looking for me. but, he came back and we all got back on the boat, for another hour of laying up on the top deck with my hoodie over my face, laying as still as possible, trying not to hurl.






On to the night dive! Where my dive partner, forgets his dive light! so, during the entire night dive, I have to watch him to make sure he doesn't get lost! man, Then, back on the boat for an hour long boat ride back to shore! Another hour of lying there as still as possible with the hoodie pulled over my face. The staff would come up there, "do you want some fruit?" " do you want some water?" Do I look like I want to eat!??


No! I look like I want to hurl, now leave me the heck alone! Actually, the water had calmed down by then, and it was a beautiful night, so, after awhile, I was able to get up and look at the stars and stuff. Still, I was never so glad to get off of a boat! Yeepii!! I can't wait until the next class!! which is tomorrow! wish me luck!

Sacred Mt. Warning

Here I am hiking up the top of the scared Mt. Warning. I feel like super woman!!!

What a view from way up here!

My American friend - Joal

Hiking in the Bush - Witches Falls

Witches Falls is my favorite local hiking spot - probably because it is a palmtree forest and I love Palm trees. Probably because I grew up in a cold and snowy place, so, when I see a palm trees - it would mean that I was on some exotic vacation! Not that I ever got to go on exotic vacations, mind you. More like driving all the way to florida with my mate, and then sleeping in the car or in a tent by the side of the road!

I named my business, a computer consulting firm, after them: www.palmtreeinc.net. Ofcourse, it had something to do with my last name being palmer too! This came in handy for me because I also own a farm, and when I needed to puchase trees at a business discount for my farm because they assumed that a business called "palmtree Inc" was a landscaping firm, otherwise they would not of sold the trees to me as they only deal with landscaping businesses.








My adventure friend - Joal - out hiking with me




Little water fall

Fiji!

The very first time I have ventured on a vacation by myself....and what a good time I had!

But, ofcourse, no trip with Renee can start without drama.....so.....I was late heading to the airport for reasons I won't go into now....but, needless to say, when I got there, they said "GOGOGO, RUNRUNRUN!" and run I did to get to the gate....when I got to security, the deligent guard asked me "any gels or liquids??" now, I have gotten used to traveling within Australia, where this 1-2-3 put your shampoo in a plastic baggy" nonesense is not required. since I wasn't traveling back to the US, I figured this was necessary. So, I did not bother with that. So, I replied "no".....I mean, after all, it was just contact solution, some liquid foundation and so forth. Well, he pulls my bag out of the queue...and takes out: contact solution, makeup, tooth paste, mouth wash, and so forth and so on....he just looks at me.....luckily, he was a real sweetie, and he took pitty on me, put the stuff in the special little baggy and ran it through security, and sent me on my way. where I promptly got stopped and had my carry on bag bomb tested and I got patted down! wow! but, I still made my flight! and do you know, when I got to my dogedy little hotel room in Fiji, I was unpacking my carry on, and I had a knife with a 6" blade on it, in MY CARRY ON! I was using my beach bag as my carryon, and I always take my fishing gear with me when I go to the beach, and somehow, I accidently left my sharp, 6" blade in my carry on!!!! what a way to start a vacation, ah????

Fiji is just fantastic! Here are some pics!

Welcome to Robinson Cruiso Island - My best scuba diving experience ever! I can't wait to go back

Crusing down the river to a native villiage

Kava ceremony...

Preparing a delicious meal for us!

Fish wrapped in palm leaves...ummmm!!! it was delicious!!

Then off to swim in a water fall! How fantastic!!

Kava drinking party! Notice how the pictures get more blurry as the night goes on!

Me and Adam - we both enjoyed watching the men dancers!