I have been remiss at adding the story to the blog, so, some of you may wonder why the title? What gives? Well, here is the story….
I am off on another one of my Sunday adventures! As usual, I was off at the “crack of noon” ( as my late father would say) instead of early in the morning as intended. But not to be deterred by a little thing called “time” I made it to my adventure starting point around noon, when the sun is at it’s peaking, waiting to bake you into a crisp and fry your brain so that it no longer functions properly.
My adventure this time - bike riding out in the beautiful countryside! Something I was able to do all the time in North Carolina, as I had a group of riders to go with, but, not so here. So, off I go, by myself, as usual, since no one wants to go with me. Booo hooo. Never mind that I don’t know how to change a tire. Well, I do know how to, kind of, but have never successfully done it. 
Wow! What a hot and sunny day! I have “rugged up” to protect myself from the lethal sun. I have got my helmet, my “sunnies”, a scarf pulled up over my face, and a long sleeved shirt! I look just like a bandit! Sweat is just poring off me and I haven’t even started riding yet!
Ah, here comes the clavier! Little did I know I was going to need them later!
Off I go, riding merrily along on a route I found on the internet. So, the road is a little busy, and cars are zooming by me, alarmingly close, but, let’s focus on the positive…I am free! The wind is caressing my check. Ok, well, I am assuming that it is trying to caress my check, but, it is covered with my scarf. And, if we overlook the traffic, it is just me and the open road before me! Ah, this is the life!
Joy, happiness and peace fill my heart! My spirits are soaring! I pedal along, for a bit and then my utopia is shattered by a: WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WTF? Is someone throwing rocks at my head? I turn to look and see a huge black and white bird getting ready to dive bomb my head again! Oh my god, I have heard of these! They will gouge your eyes out! I am going to be blind! I pedal furiously, faster, as fast as my legs can carry me! But, still, I am attacked! I wave my arms around wildly, and thump on my helmet, screaming at the topping of my lungs, which is not an easy task when you are attempting to ride a bike…up hill! Meanwhile, cars are zipping by – what must they think about this masked mad woman on her bicycle, waving her arms and hitting her own head, I wonder? Somehow I make it out of his zone, and soon am able to turn off on to a side road, as my route indicates.
Once I recover from almost having my eyeballs plucked out of my head, I pedal away at a nice leisurely rate, admiring the scenery around me. I see colts frolicking in the pastures, and majestic volcanic mountains looming in the background. So engrossed am in admiring this beautiful scenery that I missed my turn.
Oblivious to my gaffe, I continued merrily on my way…Ah, the pink galah’s were everywhere! Aren’t they beautiful? (picture - courtest of the web)
I looked up to see this mammoth hill. Oh. My. god. Surely, I don’t have to climb up that??? I was seriously contemplating getting off my bike and walking, but, it was just too long. And besides that, there was a two farmers standing by the side of the road talking. (of course, those were the only people I saw at the side of the road, the entire ride!) Where were they when I needed them, I ask?
Needless to say, my pride won, and I huffed and puffed until I made it to the top! And then, flying down the other side, accelerating so fast, my helmet was shaking, my bike was shaking, the road whizzing by at an alarming rate! I thought for sure I was gonna die! I pumped my brakes a bit, but, that did nothing to slow my rate. The entire time, I was making deals with God – please let me get down this hill in one piece and I promise I will NEVER do this route again. EVER! And somehow, miraculously, I made it to the bottom. I was shaking, sweat was pouring down me forming a river by my shoes. After my heart stopped pounding, I forced myself to get on my bike and carry on….and then, it dawned on me…wasn’t the road I was suppose to turn on, almost immediately after the secondary road that I turned onto? But, there were no other roads, I was sure of it! I pulled out my map, which I had tucked into the front of my riding shorts. Uck, it was all wet and soggy and the paper was all stuck together. I gingerly unfolded it and peered at it, expecting it to magically guide me back to my car. But, alas, the map only showed the roads that I was suppose to turn on. No other roads. I knew I needed to turn around. I turned around and looked at the steep road behind me. No way. Besides, I had made a deal with god. Surely, there must be another way back to the main road. So, I carried on. After travelling for a while, I saw an intersection coming up! I looked at the sign, which informed me that I had now entered in the “Lost world”. Great, like I didn’t already know that? I pulled out the wad of wet paper and desperately looked for the “Lost World” colony. But, silly me, if it was on the map, then it wouldn’t be lost, would it?
I bravely carried on, feeling a bit feverous now that I had sweated out half of my body weight and had drank most of my water…Surely, surely someone must be here in the Lost World with me. I pedal on, now getting quite delirious, wondering what happens to people once they have been sucked into the Lost World? Ah, what was that whining noise in the distance? Aliens coming to land and take me away for experiments? Maybe that is what happens to you once you have been sucked into the vortex. I look behind me toward the noise that was getting progressively louder. As I got off my bike, preparing to wave them down, they zoomed by in blur. I could of wept, if only I had some fluid left in my body. Oh dear god, what was I going to do now? But, luck was back with me! Up ahead the motor cycles were stopped by cattle crossing the road! (oh, I so wish I would have had my camera for this picture!) so, pedalled furiously, racing to beat the cattle! As I pulled up next to them, they turned and looked my way, two women! Biker Babes! I was saved! I would get the mothering that I so desperately needed! I explained my situation, of how I had gotten sucked into the Lost World Colony vortex, and after looking at me rather strangely; they had a brief discussion amongst themselves and decided that I needed water. They bustled around, fetching me water, feeling my forehead, feeding me snacks and providing me with a map! My Lost World angels. After the cattle had crossed they went their way and I went mine.
In proper Renee fashion, I had been riding completely in the wrong direction and did have to tackle my nemesis hill. Yet, somehow I conquered it, and with the strong, heavy head winds that greeted me when I got back on the main road, along with all the traffic and the manic birds which chased me all the way back to my car, dive bombing me the entire way, I made it to my car just before dark. Ah, another successful Renee Adventure!
No comments:
Post a Comment